The biblical book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom. It is filled with guidance, direction and sayings gathered and treasured by the people of God over centuries. It’s a good place to explore and learn how to inculcate values and morals into our daily lives.
Some are readily recognized. Some are challenging. And some, like our passage in Proverbs 22:11, cause us to sigh and shake our heads. If only it were possible to find “gracious speech” in our society as we know it today! Just perusing media — TV, social, movies, written — reveals that we live in a black hole of anger, strife and anything but gracious speech.
It seems as if most of the conversations in our circles of life lack just that — conversation. Too often, it is opposing viewpoints speaking to the other to see if they agree. If they don’t, the other tries to convince them. If that fails, it becomes just one point of view shouting at the other point of view. Or, at worst, just erasing the other person from existence in their world.
Whatever happened to discourse? Whatever happened to working together to find compromise? These words of Proverbs 22:11 sound so beautiful, but so farfetched. How could we make them come to reality in our workplace, our neighborhoods, our families and relationships? Well, Proverbs states that it’s a two-step process.
The first step is to love a pure heart. The apostle Paul speaks on this topic in 1 Timothy 1:5: “The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.”
We love a pure heart when our hearts are pure. What does that mean? Simply put, when we have a heart like Jesus. When we seek the best in others. When we empathize with others. When we see ourselves in others — that they are humans with the same dreams, feelings, traumas and joys just like us.
That empowers us to take the second step. When our hearts are “pure,” that is, when our hearts are filled with and focused on love, the words we speak will be “gracious.” Graciousness means that our words will be filled with grace. That will result in us looking at and listening to others from a grace-centered focus — just like Jesus does with us every minute of every day.
Despite our divergent views, despite our brokenness, we can glue our hearts together through the medium of grace. And when we do that, Proverbs proclaims that we will have the King as our friend. And, when we do this, we can change our society and our world!
Jesus promises, “I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one — as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.” –John 17:21.
—Terry Swenson, DMin, is director of University Spiritual Care.
