“The war between the house of Saul and the house of David dragged on and on.”
–2 Samuel 3:1
Most of us are cool, calm and collected when experiencing the best of times, but when pain strikes, it is challenging to remain this way. Pain will cause the most volatile and unpredictable of responses, especially when the pain comes from the people closest to us.
In 2 Samuel 3, Abner, the son of King Saul’s military commander, is taking advantage of the war between Saul and David to gain more power for himself. When Saul’s son Ish-Bosheth confronts Abner for taking Saul’s concubine, the scheming Abner feels insulted and loses his temper. He flies into a rant full of self-virtue and threats.
When pain hit Abner, it brought out what was on his inside — pride and desire for recognition.
So Abner reaches out to David and creates an alliance. Joab, the commander of David’s army, is troubled by the deal because Abner is his brother’s murderer. Joab searches for Abner and exacts revenge by taking his life.
When pain hit Joab, it brought out what was on the inside — grief and revenge.
The war between the house of Saul and the house of David could very well speak to the many wars being dragged on within our lives today. Today, someone may cause me pain. Tomorrow, I may cause someone pain. And when we hurt, we respond in ways others, and ourselves, do not expect.
The pain is real.
When we are hurt by those closest to us, the pain causes us to hear things differently. It causes us to see what’s not real. We respond to pain by changing loyalties, seeking revenge or even by creating stories that are not real. We may even believe that the absence of our wrongdoer will bring relief.
Yet God’s solution for healing the pain is patience.
The unresolved feelings inside of us do not give license to respond negatively when we are hurt. “Count it all joy when you fall into different trials and tribulations, knowing that the trying of your faith worketh patience. Let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” (James 1:2-4)
God’s perspective is always greater than our pain. And if we will seek relief in His care, in His time and in His way, we will see that the pain is always temporary.
In our patient response to hurt and pain, let us listen to God’s voice providing us healing.
—Carl Ricketts Jr., MDiv, is director of Chaplain Services for Loma Linda University Medical Center.
