The phrase, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" communicates the idea that we can improve our situation by our efforts. This phrase is synonymous with our culture in North America. However, I often wonder how well this adage stands up during times of crisis. Who can you rely on when there is a terminal diagnosis, problems in a marriage or when needing to care for aging parents? Where do you go for support when treatments do not work, funding falls through or if you face an uncertain future? Who can we trust to advocate on our behalf when we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place?
In 1 Samuel 20, David becomes a fugitive striving to elude the King's plans to end his life. He does not attempt to navigate the uncertainty that looms if he leaves his wife Michal, and Saul's service. In this moment of crisis, David goes to Jonathan for help, guidance and support. I marvel at the friendship these two men shared.
Jonathan was the heir apparent as the first-born son of King Saul. David was anointed heir to that same throne, chosen by God to establish the kingdom of Israel. Their roles and responsibility did not preclude them from being friends, "brothers from different mothers." At first, Jonathan finds it challenging to accept David's assessment of the King's actions towards him at Ramah (1 Samuel 19), but then Jonathan truly listens.
As crucial as it is during a crisis to have a friend, a friend who is able and willing to listen is invaluable. There are two benefits of good listening we can glean from the story that are pertinent to our context as staff and students of Loma Linda University Health.
The first is mutual trust. Authentic listening engenders respect and trust between “the speaker” and “the listener.” David could rely on his friend to be there for him in his time of need. He did not have to go it alone.
The second benefit of good listening is problem-solving. When Jonathan grasped the deep concern of his friend, the two of them devised a plan to discern the king's true feelings toward David.
I have personally benefitted from having people in my life that I can rely on when I am facing tough decisions or encounter incapacitating circumstances. While it is true that I have my faith to rely on, I am equally thankful that I have individuals with whom I have developed mutual trust. They have also helped me to problem-solve and create new ways to diffuse conflict.
In the case of David and Jonathan, we see their commitment to being supportive of each other grow into a covenant that would benefit Jonathan's descendants for generations. As an organization determined to continue to the teaching and healing ministry of Jesus Christ, we must learn to listen to each other, develop mutual trust, create solutions for problems we encounter and decide to support one another during hard times.
I'll swap the adage of pulling myself up by my bootstraps for Galatians 6:2; "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." Will you join me?
— Dilys Brooks, MDiv is the associate campus chaplain at Loma Linda University
