I Samuel 2:12-17 — Eli’s Wicked Sons
Sometimes I wonder what people will say of me once my life is over. Did I live well enough? Kind enough? Will they say anything at all? Most of us want to leave a good legacy. One of the most jarring sentences in scripture is this one: “The sons of Eli were worthless men” (I Samuel 2:12). Another version suggests they were “scoundrels.”
That is not the legacy most would want, and yet I doubt these men cared. The text states, “They had no regard for the Lord” (verse 12) and they “treated the offering of the Lord with contempt” (verse 17). They wanted the best part of the meat, and they didn’t care what the customs were or what God thought. How do people reach this level of disregard for everything but themselves?
Contempt means more than to dislike something; contempt is tinged with disgust and disdain, and directed toward someone one thinks of lesser value. So, in order to feel contempt for others, we have to lower them in our own eyes. We have to set ourselves up as of greater value, more powerful and more worthy of being heard.
No wonder John Gottman lists contempt as one of the prime indicators that a marriage will fail. If you watch a couple closely, you can see the signs within minutes — eyes rolling, sarcastic comments — “little” signs that empathy has waned, criticism is taking over and there is little regard for the other.
Contempt is a place of rejection and hopelessness. It is also a place of power and pseudo worth. In this place of contempt, we listen in order to be right and to place ourselves above another. Scripture uses harsh words for this: “The sin of the young men was very great in the eyes of the Lord” (I Samuel 12:17). The sin is great because people are so valuable to God and when we cease to treat them as valuable, we fail at the greatest point.
Disregard of others leads us to this place of contempt. Listening to understand will lead us out. But, in order to understand, we must quiet our own fears and anxieties, our own need to be heard. Then we can listen — to the words, the sounds, the heart of the other person. What … are … they … trying … to … say?
When we listen, really listen, the strangest thing happens (that is not strange at all): we begin to empathize and understand. And in that moment of empathizing and understanding, we experience the value of the other and what it means to be partners with God.
—Carla Gober-Park, PhD, is assistant vice president for spiritual life and mission at Loma Linda University Health and director of Loma Linda University Center for Spiritual Life and Wholeness.
