“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” –Colossians 3:13
I listened to my friend tell her story; years previously her husband had been unjustly criticized by his supervisor and it had hurt him deeply. Although he had moved on and had a successful career, my friend was still harboring anger toward her husband’s previous boss. She talked about how cruel and out of touch he was, unappreciative of her husband’s strengths.
I asked her how often she had to see this man and interact with him; her reply shocked me: “I’ve never even met him. But if I ever do, I will give him a piece of my mind!”
It had been more than 10 years since her husband had taken employment elsewhere, but my friend held a deep anger that was ruining her quality of life as she nursed her feelings of resentment. Joyce Meyer says, “Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die.” As I listened to my friend, I was reminded how damaging it is to hold a grudge.
On a regular basis, we are treated unfairly. Someone takes the parking space we were waiting for; another criticizes our judgment; we put our heart and soul into a project at work and someone else gets the credit for it. These indignities, over time, can lead to a sense of anger toward those who have caused them.
When we don’t deal with the disappointment, pain and hurt, it can cause us to become heartless or retaliatory. We place ourselves in an emotional prison, blaming others for our feelings without realizing that we are the jailer.
In scripture, Jesus teaches us to forgive. In answer to Peter’s attempt to quantify how much forgiveness is sufficient, Jesus gives an over-the-top reply, letting Peter know that we are never done forgiving. (Matthew 18:21-22)
In an environment as closely knit as Loma Linda University Health, we are likely to encounter people who remind us of hurts that may have occurred recently … or years ago. We may even inadvertently hurt others, innocently or because of our own unresolved pain.
Rather than hanging on to the hurt, let’s make a commitment to forgive one another. Bearing with one another means we dismiss from our minds the slight, before we are asked to forgive, because this is what Jesus has done for each of us on the cross. What a gift that is!
Let’s extend that forgiveness to everyone.
Kathy McMillan, MA
Director
Employee spiritual care
Loma Linda University Medical Center