Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. –Ephesians 4:32
At a time when our nation is focused on preparing for Thanksgiving, some of us find ourselves still reeling from recent events. This season is usually filled with expectancy as we anticipate end of year celebrations and holidays. This year, there are some who are experiencing a combination of shock, disbelief, fear and uncertainty, while others are feeling jubilation, gratitude and optimism for the future.
Perspective informs the way we assess and perceive all the things occurring in our world, nation, community, organization and families. How can we move ahead together? Are we really as divided as the social pundits claim? Is there hope for reconciliation and rebuilding? Can we trust one another?
These are indeed challenging times to try living and working with one another. Yet, the above passage from Ephesians 4 serves as a template for how we can move forward individually and collectively.
First, be kind to one another. Regardless of on which side of the issues we find ourselves, there is no excuse for unkindness to each other. While our feelings — despair, anger, hurt and sense of betrayal, on the one hand, and on the other, thankfulness and hopefulness tinged with relief — are valid, they can’t be the basis upon which we act.
We need to acknowledge our feelings and find someone we can trust to share the emotions we are carrying around. This may require that we fast from social media and the news in order to recalibrate ourselves on how to extend and receive grace from one another. Now is not the time to walk away from our faith but instead lean into our faith as a source of healing and hope.
Second, be tenderhearted. Empathy has been too rare a commodity in these past months. Many seem to have lost the ability to share and understand the viewpoints and emotions of others. We have spent more time witnessing combative behavior than compassionate understanding for others who have differing views on a variety of issues.
We are called to be sympathetic to the outlooks, opinions or needs of others, especially when we do not agree. We must also acknowledge that the feelings of others are equally valid when they choose to share them with us.
This brings us to the third imperative, forgiving each other. This is not optional behavior. It actually ought to be the way Christian believers live, because of the tender mercy we have personally received through Christ. Forgiveness is giving up resentment or claim for requital. It is the willingness to give up your desire for revenge on the person who has wronged you. This, however, does take some time.
It would be foolish to pretend that we who compose Loma Lind University Health have not been affected by recent events. However, what others may see as liabilities, we see as many strengths working toward one mission. Let’s intentionally connect with one another by being kind, tenderhearted and forgiving.
When we do this, our outlooks will change, our work environments will change, our families will change and our communities will also change. Who knows? Maybe we can influence the nation and possibly the world to change, too.
Dilys Brooks, MDiv
Associate campus chaplain
Loma Linda University