The 8th annual Seeds of Hope fundraising dinner Oct. 7 raised more than $133,000 to benefit programs and services of Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center.
The speakers made it clear that the real beneficiaries of the event are the men and women of the Inland Empire who rely on the BMC, as the center is called, to help them overcome the reality and stigma of mental illness, addiction and dependency disorders.
Former San Bernardino mayor and Superior Court judge The Honorable Patrick J. Morris said the judicial community is very much aware that places like the BMC do more good than prisons, and he predicted that in the future, the American judicial system will put fewer people behind bars and more in rehabilitation and recovery.
Edward Field, MBA, vice president and administrator of the BMC, said that the National Alliance on Mental Illness has recognized the first full week of October as Mental Health Awareness Week. “One of the main themes is the fight against stigma,” he observed. “Most of us recognize that the stigma of mental illness and addiction is real, but sometimes we don’t see it.”
Perhaps the most candid and dramatic presentation of the evening was the story of Inland Empire teen Marcela Ontiveros. Marcela became increasingly sullen and withdrawn as she entered her teens. Concern, her parents, Alfonso and Lorena, enrolled her in the BMC.
This video of her family’s story was shown during the program.
“I was really nervous and reluctant to go,” Marcela shared with the audience. “I remember hoping I could just go through the program unnoticed.”
However, Glenn C. W. Scott Jr., program manager for outpatient youth services, put Marcela at ease with his sense of humor.
“The moment Glenn started cracking jokes,” Marcela shared, “I started to feel a bit more comfortable.”
But rather than getting better, things initially got worse as the Ontiveros family confronted their problems.
“The toughest day at the BMC was when I had to talk about how I was in front of everyone,” Marcela said. “I had gotten into a fight with my dad the previous day and I told Glenn that my father hit me, and my dad just sat there denying everything and I ended up crying in front of everyone because I was upset that he was lying. Everyone saw me cry and I felt vulnerable and embarrassed.”
Alfonso was scared. “I was afraid that she would tell the whole world what a horrible father she had when he got angry,” he explained.
Lorena concluded divorce was the only way. She was stunned, however, when Marcela told her she would probably kill herself if her parents ended their marriage. “I knew that was a sign to stay,” Lorena said.
The decision to work on their issues paid off for the family. They learned to talk out differences rather than retreating into dysfunctional patterns. Over time, love, respect and dignity returned to their home.
“What message would you like to send home with our guests this evening?” Glenn asked.
“That it is OK to ask for help,” Marcela replied.
“Don’t be afraid of seeking help,” Alfonso agreed. “It’s time to start putting all those bad things and thoughts in the past.”
“God put the BMC in our path,” Lorena concluded.
After the Ontiveros family, Mike and Alejandra Morley shared their story of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction and codependency.
“At the seven-year clean and sober mark, I met my beautiful wife, Alejandra, an amazing woman of God!” Mike shared. Despite years of addiction, he said he now lives a life of joy and blessing. “I have a deep, personal relationship with God today, thanks to the BMC.”
Alejandra reached out for help after her son became addicted.
“Before the BMC,” she shared, “I didn’t know I had a problem. I didn’t do drugs or alcohol and I had a successful career in education.” She admitted, however, that she harbored depression, anxiety, guilt and shame prior to treatment.
“At first, I firmly denied I was codependent,” Alejandra noted, “since I didn’t have any mental health issues. But it only took one session to humbly accept that I was codependent, too, and that many of my son’s struggles had a lot to do with our family dynamics.”
“At the BMC, I found freedom,” she concluded. “My hope is that every broken and hurting family in the Inland Empire gets to know the name Loma Linda University Behavioral Medicine Center.”
To learn more about the BMC, visit http://behavioral-medicine-center.lomalindahealth.org.