when you realize you have a secret pleasure for sneaking as many vegetables into ordinary foods as possible.

exhibit A: my oatmeal waffle this morning was a-topped with a spread made up of (among other things) cabbage, broccoli, a carrot, apple, and a banana.

I dare you to have known that upon a blind taste test.

more on this at my personal blog!

I have attempted to write a “hey I’m back” post for a week now. and I just didn’t have words to say. unfortunately for you, not much has changed from the previous attempts and now. except that I have an hour to kill before a meeting. so I’m determined to bring closure to this trip. or at least the bloggyness of it.

Trying to answer the question: “how was Africa?!” multiple times this week has left me feeling as if I do the inquirer a disservice by either providing too little information (for lack of a proper way to summarize all of the individual stories and events that, when retold out of context, do the individuals/events a disservice) or randomly blabbing about an unrelated story to try and give them some picture of what I did. Either way, I am not doing a very good job at readjusting or retelling the stories.

I think the hardest part about coming back is that I was not ready to leave. Most people, after traveling and living in a foreign country  for a few weeks experience the novelty wearing off and begin to miss America… in one sense or another. I, however, was spoiled. my experience in Cameroon was completely amazing. a “vacation” in every sense of the word. I saw mountains, beaches, rivers, lakes, cities, rural villages, traveled dirt roads, paved roads, swamps that used to be roads, had food from south, north, west, east, grown from the ground, grilled over a fire, cooked in an oven, or some combination of all of the above. I saw faces of people and places from all over the country. experienced many new things and settled into the familiar of old things done in new ways. My “trip to Africa” was in no way a “sacrafice.” I stayed in the most lovely cottage. ran incredible trails. met beautiful people. ate delicious food. was mentored/befriended by an incredible and awe inspiring lady. and experienced life in a more vibrant way. I could have stayed forever and only missed the free water fountains (and peppermint extract… which is apparently no where to be found in cameroon and makes baking a challenge).

but I know that I had to come back. I knew it was temporary. I knew  there was nothing more for me to “do” or “contribute.” I know I still have a lot to learn and be trained in before I can continue to work in the field of Nutrition. especially internationally. I am just too apt to be impatient and feel that I am behind because I see others in the field progressing and moving forward without me. and here I sit, still in school. I tend to try and find people who are living awesome stories. and jump into theirs. piggy back on their stories rather than write my own. I don’t like to be behind. yet I’m realizing more and more that time is not something that can be measured or compared in a linear way.

September was a spectacular month. I learned. and will continue to learn from the things I experienced there for years to come.

so. hey! I’m back! and I don’t have an answer for the “will you go back again?” or the “what was the best thing?” and I may never be able to properly answer “how was your time in Africa?” but if you have followed my train of thought this far then you probably have a pretty good idea of the answer to most of those questions. and if God leads me, I will go. back to Cameroon. to Ethiopia. to Ukraine. to London. to the ends of the earth.

but for now, He has led me to loma linda, ca. and so here I will stay. at least until June 2012…

grace and peace, friends.

for more on what I’ve been up to since I’ve been back see my personal blog.

I was in Chapel at Loma Linda one Wednesday morning and during one of the first worship songs, I looked around me to see how the experience of singing made some people feel.  There was a general sense of calmness and in a group of students who are mainly in the competitive health field, it was a great sight.  As I saw this happening, I remembered a song I listened to on the way to school that morning that my friend wrote.  Listening to his song gives me the same feeling each and every time.  Happy.  I can imagine the story line in my head while listening to it, the same story each and every time.  It’s the same feeling that I get when I bake something, when I enjoy my meals, and when I share the meals.  My curiosity is…do music and comfort foods illicit the same brain stimulation?

 The key word here I COMFORT.  I can certain attest that bitter foods make children cringe, foods highly salted can be offensive and overly doused sugary foods can make you fear for a cavity.  As I digest my mac n’ cheese, the ultimate American comfort food, I feel a sense of relaxation on a Saturday night.  Now, many of you can say, well, it is a Saturday and she might have had a great day.  I did.  But I also just fought thru 1.5 hours of Los Angeles traffic in the rain.  There is also a general sense of stress a doctoral student, however immune I may be.

Through general research, this is what food does to your brain….

1. Complex Carbohydrates (whole grain breads, brown rice, some fruits) can raise the level of serotonin in the brain and give a calm and relaxed feeling.
2. Fats (avocado, almonds and nuts, salmon, lobster) increases endorphine levels.  This is what we refer to as “healthy” fats.  All fats are necessary but we are talking more of the fats that come naturally from foods rather than from your fried foods.
3. Protein (meats, tofu, Greek yogurt, nuts) can stimulate the production of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine.

Does this make sense?  From my Mac N Cheese, I had my carbs (noodles), my fats (milk) and my protein (cheese and milk) and I get a sense of relaxed and calming feeling.  But what do these hormones and neurotransmitters really do?  They are released with or without the help of foods so let’s break them down:

1. Norepinephrine/Noradrenaline – It is released from the amygdala where attention and response are controlled.  It is also a stress hormone which illicit flight-or-fight response that increases oxygen to the brain, heart rate and releases glucose from the storage tanks.
2. Epinephrine/Adrenaline – It is also released from the amygdala where flight-or-fight response is also fired.  It increases heart rate and increases oxygen intake thru dilation of the airways.
3. Serotonin - It is found in the gastrointestinal tract from esophagus to your colon as well as platelets and central nervous system.  It contributes to the overall sense of happiness and well-being.  Fun fact! Serotonin is needed for male mating behaviors where they may leave their food to find a mate.  
4. Dopamine - It covers a larger role in the brain but it plays a big role in reward-seeking individuals.  It has been proven those who are more extroverted have higher levels of dopamine.  It is also released when partaking in many highly addictive drugs such as meth and cocaine.  Can you think of any foods you are “addicted” too.  Any connections?

So we now know that food affects your mood and it’s no surprise that the foods the people love are connected to a release of neurotransmitters and hormones which affect our mood.  It’s also no surprise that a warm baked cookie makes us ooey-gooey on the inside as well.  But are the same neurotransmitter and hormones released when we listen to our favorite tunes?

Michael Buble

When listening to music, the amygdala is also stimulated to release adrenaline.  In fact, memories of the initiating experience are strengthened.  This explains the repeated story line while listening to a love song or my connections with Memoirs of a Geisha every time I hear Norah Jones.  The same neurotransmitter can also illicit a warm feeling when eating mac n cheese.  There is a signal from the body to the brain to instruct how much adrenaline is released into the brain which in turn changes our bodily functions such as increase oxygen to the brain, increase air flow to the body and increase heart rate.  So if you are a huge Michael Buble fan, maybe listening to his music will increase your heart rate.  Similarly when I listen to the song my friend wrote, I can run a little faster but I am also happier.  Double whamy!

This is definitely not a simple subject to blog about because the brain and the signals to and from are so complicated.  Simply said, music and food improves our mood.  Can either illicit the same feelings? Seems like it.  Can music replace food?  Probably not.  I would not suggest it either.  Food is too good to give up!  Moreover, there are individuals are immune to some of these feelings because their daily activities stimulate the release of the neurotransmitters such that they are immune and would need a higher dose to cause the same reaction as someone who many not be as stimulated.  Didn’t I say this was complicated?  It is definitely worth looking into!

So as we progress through this Valentines weekend, think about the foods are consuming.  Think about the food feelings that people get when eating chocolate, warm souffle cakes and hearty pastas cooked to perfection.  What feelings are we embracing besides love? 

MY 3 Favorite Songs of the Moment.  Enjoy!  Tell me what you all think of #3. :)

1.  Just a Kiss

2. I Won’t Give Up

3. At Last

“… As long as the help we offer to others is motivated primarily by the changes we may accomplish, our service cannot last long. When results do not appear, when success is absent, when we are no longer like or praised for what we do, we lose the strength and motivation to continue. When we see nothing but sad, poor, sick, or miserable people who, even after our  many attempts to offer help, remain sad, poor, sick, and miserable, then the only reasonable response is to move away in order to prevent ourselves from becoming cynical or depressed.

Radical servanthood challenges us, while attempting persistently to overcome poverty, hunger, illness, and any other form of human misery, to reveal the gentle presence of our compassionate God in the midst of our broken world.”

- from Compassion by McNeill, Morrison and Nouwen

Kate and I made sport this morning discussing the implications and repercussions of such a life. as we have experienced thus far.

I gave a disastrous presentation yesterday to the public health trainees here at LAP. How foolish to think that after one week here I know enough about how to make nutrition (or anything for that matter) relevant to them. Thankfully and graciously Kate was there to bail me out and help “translate” and smooth over the grave mistakes and assumptions I had made.

My but He is kind to allow me to fall on my face. gently. and with such a cloud of ever encouraging witnesses to help me up, dust me off, and send me on my way again without too much devastation to either myself or those around me. Those who do not allow me to wallow in self pity of what I have not done/accomplished. but rather spur me on to be the presence of Hope and Grace I have received, inspite of my pride and despite my failure to do so in previous situations.

I am learning.

oh boy. but I have a lot to learn yet.

for more, see my personal blog